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nft99
05-03-09, 21:37
NEWMAN , WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31

Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western

Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm,

balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was

beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.



September 13

Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned

home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.

I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.



September 30th

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more

mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.



October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of

heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatising is

taking longer than I expected.



October 15th

Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed

three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like

this.



October 25

This wind is a *******. It feels like a giant ****in' blow dryer. And it's hot as hell!

The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive

over and tell me he needs to order parts from ****in' Perth .



October 30th

The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the ****in' aircon.

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $800,000 house and we can't

even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?



November 4

Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around

25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30.

Stupid repairman.



November 8

If one more smart **** says 'Hot enough for you today?', I'm going to ****in' throttle

him. ****in' heat! By the time I get to work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my

clothes are soaking ****in' wet and I smell like baked cat!



November 9

Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery

in the ol' car. I thought my ****in' **** was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all

the hair on the backs of my legs and my ****in' ****. Now the car smells like burnt hair,

fried **** and baked cat!



November 10

Weather report! It might as well be a ****in' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot

and ****in' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything for two ****in' months and the

weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn

****in' place. Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry

up and blow into the ****in' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the

****in' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the

****ers!



November 20th

Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 ****in' degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my

car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My wife had to

spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid ****er.

****in' Newman! What kind of sick, demented ****in' idiot would want to live here!



December 1

WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are ****in' kidding!

Biodoid
06-03-09, 11:43
:lol:

Shedlife
13-03-09, 22:58
:lol: