View Full Version : ***CLOSED*** Free Game - Borderlands
BurningFeetMan
03-11-10, 20:44
Firstly, mod's can you please move to competitions :)
Following on from a good idea by Mokey I have realised I have a spare copy of Borderlands.
In order to get your hands on my spare copy you must have a steam account and have made more than 50 posts.
The competition will close and the winner will be announced around lunchtime on Sunday.
Please don't enter if you don't want the game as im sure there are a few that actually want it :)
In order to win, you must post Interested and a joke to make it interesting :P
Winner will be drawn by random.org and the first valid entry to come up will win :)
Hope it benefits somebody :)
BFM
Interested!
Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
interested for sure!
a cheeky your mum
"Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****."
ThunderFlash
03-11-10, 20:56
Snakedoc has won tbf
Toonshorty
03-11-10, 20:57
Interested!
Suicide helpline for Sunderland Supporters - 0845 51 51 51.
If you saw the Newcastle vs Sunderland match and/or heard the result you'll get it.
SilveR_172
03-11-10, 20:57
Silence , ..... i kill you :) lol but I'm in will post a better joke when I get one , might have to open a Christmas crater early
Interested
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
:p
Moved.
Very Interested!
Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst
health problems.
The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I
get up at 7:30 and have to take a pee, but I have to stand at the
toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out."
"Heck, that's nothing," said the eighty year old. "Every morning at
8:30 I have to take a dump, but I have to sit on the can for hours
because of my constipation. It's terrible."
The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every
morning at 7:30 I pee like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I dump like a
pig. Only problem is, I don't wake up till eleven."
Interested.
Garry Glitter has just returned home from Chile. He told reporters how disappointed he was to have missed the 33 trapped minors.
might have to open a Christmas crater early
Hmm santa crash did he?
INTERESTED!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side :chairfall::chairfall::chairfall::lol::clap:weeee: rofl::woot::fail:chuckle:
niceguyrichy
03-11-10, 21:43
well well interested !
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
At 5:30 that afternoon, his 11 year old son, Tommy, returned home from school two hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John..
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy. "What did you watch?" asked his mother, Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John. When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears, and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
:D
Broadsword1976
03-11-10, 21:50
Interested.
Q. How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Fish.
heavywater
03-11-10, 22:06
*joke*
I died a little inside.
winstonngo
03-11-10, 22:14
interested.
How do you make a squirrel scream?
You pinch its nuts.
:P:):D
Interested.
A scottish man goes into a chippy
Man: I would like Steak and kidley pie, please.
Employee: haha, you just said steak and kidley!!
Man: No, I didley.
Interested.
A scottish man goes into a chippy
Man: I would like Steak and kidley pie, please.
Employee: haha, you just said steak and kidley!!
Man: No, I didley.
That joke is older than Scrivz! And you told it wrong, it should be a non racial joke.
It should be a man walks into a butcher's shop
"I'd like a pound of Kidderlies Please"
"You mean Kidneys Sir?" said the butcher.
"That's what I said, diddle I?" replied the man.
Interested
"i raised the alarm at work today
The Midgets were furious"
and another one for good measure
"79% of accidents happen in the home.
Finally good news for the homeless"
Interested
One day a multi-billionaire was board, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.
A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've a deal you can't refuse. Who can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leaches. The winner may have whatever his heat desires."
No one replies so the man gives up.
All of a sudden the man hears a splash. One of the men is swimming as fast as he can, dodging all the sharks, eels, and leaches.
The billionaire was so impressed that someone had enough guts take up his challenge. He congratulates the man and asks him what he wants.
The man replies "I want the Son of a Bitch who pushed me in"
Interested
"Screw you guys...I'm going home"
Interested
Why did the perv cross the road?
Coz his **** was stuck in the chicken.
Delete if inapt.
That joke is older than Scrivz! And you told it wrong, it should be a non racial joke.
Deconstruction of comedy is a terrible thing, but this joke is only funny if you are familiar with the word "Didnae" and that's a word only commonly used in Scotland.
If it is a later variation of your original joke, I think it's a better joke. Albiet with a smaller target audience. Hoarses for coarses, and all that.
Not interested but.....
A gay wizard walks into a bar........ The disappears in a poof !
Not interested but.....
A gay wizard walks into a bar........ The disappears in a poof !
another....
bought a Deoderant stick the other day.....to use it says remove top and push up bottom....
Well I'm cold ...walking funny but at least my farts smell nice !!
INTERESTED!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side :chairfall::chairfall::chairfall::lol::clap:weeee: rofl::woot::fail:chuckle:
Lmfao, out of all the jokes this one made my laugh out loud in my college library :P. It's so pathetic it's funny :).
Interested
two atoms are walking down the road
one says to the other, "i think ive lost my electrons,"
the other says "are you sure?"
The first atom replies "yes im positive"
Interested!
I come with an oldies, but great:
<INVALID IMAGE - REMOVED BY DOUBLETOP ** NOT SUITABLE FOR THESE FORUMS>
*Interested*
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender: "Got any Bread?"
Bartender says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Bartender says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Bartender says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Bartender says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Bartender says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
Why shouldn`t you pick on a dwarf with learning difficulties?
Because its not big and its not clever!
InvaderGIR
04-11-10, 14:53
Interested.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.
'My son was born on St George's Day, 'remarked the Englishman, 'So we obviously decided to call him George.'
'That's a real coincidence', observed the Frenchman', My daughter was born on Valentine's Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.'
'That's really incredible', drawled the Irishman, 'Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.'
I know you lot like pancakes. :D
Interested.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.
'My son was born on St George's Day, 'remarked the Englishman, 'So we obviously decided to call him George.'
'That's a real coincidence', observed the Frenchman', My daughter was born on Valentine's Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.'
'That's really incredible', drawled the Irishman, 'Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.'
I know you lot like pancakes. :D
A daughter called April Fools would have been better. ;)
Interested
Yo' momma's so fat, she fell down the stairs and I thought Eastenders was starting.
Interested
Yo' momma's so fat, She can live inside my pc case!
http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/6140/000474371.jpg (http://img100.imageshack.us/i/000474371.jpg/)
Interested
How do you count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
Interested
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Interested
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Interested
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Was anyone able to guess what you were listening to?
BreadMurderer
05-11-10, 09:17
Interested!
"Dyslexic man walks into a bra..."
InvaderGIR
05-11-10, 09:22
A daughter called April Fools would have been better. ;)
Pft! Best joke I could find on google quickly and changing it would have required brainwork.
Interested
what did ken say to Ryu after Ryan asked if he could borrow a fiver?
Shor-yu-ken :lol:
WORST JOKE I KNOW :p
Interested
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
Added after 4 minutes:
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Interested
Oh yeah, What did the fish say when he crashed into a wall? Highlight to find out:DAM
Littlestman
06-11-10, 10:29
I am the type of guy that throws my hamster around in it's ball, just so I can feel like a Pokemon master.
Interested.
I was lying in bed last night thinking about a few things, and I looked up at the stars and my mind started to wander. I saw that Saturn was in the constellation of Leo, I pondered on the fact that there are billions of galaxies out there, hundreds of billions of stars, more planets that you can image and that somehow, some where... one of them must have developed the ability to support life...
It was then that I suddenly thought.... Where the F**K is my ceiling.
INTERESTED
http://deltax20a.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/funny-pictures-cat-is-amazed.jpg
http://a.imageshack.us/img710/8638/parksandrec.gif
SilveR_172
06-11-10, 11:54
Intrested
Update of Joke :
David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.
From next week the forms will only be printed in English.
Interested
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Interested!! ;)
LINE AND YOUR POST DON'T MATCH ;) EDITED BY DOUBLETOP
Just so you know, this is a family friendly forum and foul lanuage is not permitted.
http://forums.aria.co.uk/faq.php
BurningFeetMan
07-11-10, 14:27
Interested
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Random.org picked post #36 so Mattbot2 you are the winner :)
Would you PM me your steam name please and I will gift it to you ASAP :)
Thanks all for taking part, some of the jokes were pretty good too :clap
:weeee:weeee:weeee:weeee:weeee
BFM
Congrats Mattbot2 :thumb:
And thanks BurningFeetMan for the comp :)
Broadsword1976
07-11-10, 18:22
And thanks BurningFeetMan for the comp :)
+1
I had a fair few chukles reading through this thread. :thumb:
Indeed, well done the winner and thanks OP!
Random.org picked post #36 so Mattbot2 you are the winner :)
Would you PM me your steam name please and I will gift it to you ASAP :)
Thanks all for taking part, some of the jokes were pretty good too :clap
:weeee:weeee:weeee:weeee:weeee
BFM
I thought you were going to chose a favourite joke as the winner.
congrats to Mattbot2
heavywater
07-11-10, 21:37
It did say in the OP it'd be done by Random.org. :p
niceguyrichy
07-11-10, 21:38
well done winner, ta much thingy for the chance to win, and cracking idea with the whole joke thing rather than just a boring 'me too' thread ;)
-__- oh its already finished.
Interested!
I had to ring the weak bladder help line this morning. When I got through the lady said, "Can you hold?" :D
heavywater
09-11-10, 17:07
Aw, spoilsport. :p
BurningFeetMan
09-11-10, 17:11
Still waiting for PM from Mattbot2, how long to wait before I pick another winner :?
BurningFeetMan
12-11-10, 20:03
Winner (Mattbot2) has until 12pm Sun to PM me his steam id or i shall pick another winner. 1 week is long enough :)
BFM
Winner (Mattbot2) has until 12pm Sun to PM me his steam id or i shall pick another winner. 1 week is long enough :)
BFM
I reckon you should pick your fave joke this time too :)
Sent from my HTC HD2 using Tapatalk
BurningFeetMan
14-11-10, 15:27
Interested
One day a multi-billionaire was board, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.
A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've a deal you can't refuse. Who can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leaches. The winner may have whatever his heat desires."
No one replies so the man gives up.
All of a sudden the man hears a splash. One of the men is swimming as fast as he can, dodging all the sharks, eels, and leaches.
The billionaire was so impressed that someone had enough guts take up his challenge. He congratulates the man and asks him what he wants.
The man replies "I want the Son of a Bitch who pushed me in"
Mr aspdend, you are the new winner! Would you please pm me your steam id and i will send you the gift ASAP :)
Congratulations :thumb:
BFM
BurningFeetMan
16-11-10, 20:54
Getting bored trying to give this game away:( aspdend you have till 1700 tomorrow to pm your steam id else i shall try something else :'(
BFM
Getting bored trying to give this game away:( aspdend you have till 1700 tomorrow to pm your steam id else i shall try something else :'(
BFM
I'm happy to save you some effort :thumb:
BurningFeetMan
18-11-10, 17:39
sibeer you cheeky monkey, you been trying hard to get this, so on top of your luck in the Aria competitions you can have the prize for this comp.
PM me your steam id please and i'll send it when i can :)
BFM
Seriously though, it's poor form for people to enter for freebies if they're even not prepared to check back after it's finished.
Well done sibeer. :)
sibeer you cheeky monkey, you been trying hard to get this, so on top of your luck in the Aria competitions you can have the prize for this comp.
PM me your steam id please and i'll send it when i can :)
BFM
Awesome,
Will send when I get home tonight, been working 14 hour days at the mo and this will be a nice test for the new 460 over the weekend :thumb:
Received and will be downloaded later. Thanks BurningFeetMan, you are a star :)
Interested!
Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
LMFAO!
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