Christmas Jokes

[Funlester]

Just a few jokes to keep you going till the ones in your crackers lol

Post you fav Cracker jokes on here..........





What did the dog breeder get when she crossed an Irish Setter with a Pointer at Christmastime?
A "pointsetter"!

What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!

What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
Season's Bleatings!

How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!

How do Chihuahua's say Merry Christmas?
Fleas Navidog!

What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!

Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?
So you can say "Merry Crispness"!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

A definition of Christmas:
The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.

What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane!

What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker?
My POP is bigger than yours!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open 'til Christmas!

What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood!

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter "Y"!

What do angry mice send to each other in December?
Cross mouse cards!

What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has "no EL"!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
You get "Tinsel"-itis!

"Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?"
"No, I wouldn't know how to feed them."

What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A turkey!

What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A list of everything you want!

Why is it so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrr!

What kind of Christmas tree comes from Hawaii?
"O Tanning Palms"!

What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!

What's the favourite Christmas Carol of new parents?
Silent Night!

Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
"Holly" wood!

What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light?
You light me up!

A Christmas thought:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

[Funlester]

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle


How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!


Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!


Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf"esteem!


What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!


Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!


What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!


What is the best xmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!


How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!


How did Scrooge with the football game?
The ghost of christmas passed!


What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!


What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!


What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!


What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'


What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!


Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken!


Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!


What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!

[Sl4x0r]

They are trully, absolutely, shockingly appalling

I am saddened to say I know you...

[Funlester]

you love them really

[Belso]

So bad there good :D

[coiler]

So bad there good :D

Kinda like my signatures LOL :redface:





:O:lol: