mac124
09-04-07, 21:52
A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of petrol. As luck would have it there was a garage just down the road. She walked to the garage to borrow a can to get enough petrol to start the car and drive to the garage for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been lent out, but if she would like to wait he was sure it would be back shortly. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with petrol, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the garage, filled it with petrol, and carried it back to her car. As she was pouring the petrol into the tank of her car, two men walked by.
One of them turned to the other and said, \"If that car starts, I'll be a churchgoer the rest of my life.\"
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LOVE POEMS - WITHOUT LOVE
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE ... BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
(1) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was ****ed.
(2) I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
(3) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
(4) Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
(5) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
(6) I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
(7) I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
(8) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
(9) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
(10) My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
(11) My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe \"go to hell\".
(12) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been lent out, but if she would like to wait he was sure it would be back shortly. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with petrol, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the garage, filled it with petrol, and carried it back to her car. As she was pouring the petrol into the tank of her car, two men walked by.
One of them turned to the other and said, \"If that car starts, I'll be a churchgoer the rest of my life.\"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOVE POEMS - WITHOUT LOVE
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE ... BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
(1) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was ****ed.
(2) I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
(3) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
(4) Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
(5) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
(6) I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
(7) I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
(8) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
(9) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
(10) My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
(11) My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe \"go to hell\".
(12) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.