mac124
22-12-06, 11:34
Piked from another forum i use but thought i'd shared them with you guys. :wink:
THE 6 BEST SMART *** ANSWERS OF 2006
SMART *** ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. \"Would you like
dinner?\" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. \"What are
my choices?\" John asked. \"Yes or no,\" she replied.
SMART *** ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
\"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.\"
SMART *** ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
\"Do these turkeys get any bigger?\" The stock boy replied, \"No ma'am,
they're dead.\"
SMART *** ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. \"I've been waiting for you all day,\" the cop said. The kid
replied, \"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.\" When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART *** ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
\"Low Bridge Ahead.\" Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts
his hands on his hips and says, \"Got stuck, huh?\" The truck driver says,
\"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.\"
SMART *** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. \"Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!\" A smart-[censored] guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, \"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexualexhaustion?\" The entire class is reduced to laughter
and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
the student,shakes her head and sweetly says, \"Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand.\"
THE 6 BEST SMART *** ANSWERS OF 2006
SMART *** ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. \"Would you like
dinner?\" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. \"What are
my choices?\" John asked. \"Yes or no,\" she replied.
SMART *** ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
\"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.\"
SMART *** ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
\"Do these turkeys get any bigger?\" The stock boy replied, \"No ma'am,
they're dead.\"
SMART *** ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. \"I've been waiting for you all day,\" the cop said. The kid
replied, \"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.\" When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART *** ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
\"Low Bridge Ahead.\" Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts
his hands on his hips and says, \"Got stuck, huh?\" The truck driver says,
\"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.\"
SMART *** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. \"Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!\" A smart-[censored] guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, \"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexualexhaustion?\" The entire class is reduced to laughter
and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
the student,shakes her head and sweetly says, \"Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand.\"